"Don't Go!"

Rowan - Jari L. James
Date: December 3, 1996
Pairing: None
Category/Content: Angst - Poem
Spoilers: "Za'ha'dum"
Sequel: Part 3 of a 3 part Trilogy
Ratings: G
Warnings: None
Summery: The lament of the one let behind.
Author’s Notes: This screamed to me in Ivanova's voice until it came out.
Special Terminology: None
Disclaimer: As for the rest, Babylon-5 and its characters are the property of Babylonian Productions and Warner Brothers. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

Note: This story is the private possession of the author and can not be copied or archived without her express permission. Downloaded for private use is considered acceptable.

In the beginning, we were three:
The Voice, the Sword and the Blood.
      The Voice of Reason and Strength.
      The Sword of Justice.
      The Blood of Dedication.
We would become:
      The rocky shore that stood in defiance before
      The angry waves and broke their strength.
      The last great defense of the Light against the
         encroaching Darkness.

We’d face down the demons of Hell and wrest
      back from them Heaven’s peace.
We’d rally the scattered worlds about us:
      striking deep into the Shadow’s heart wielding a sword
      of brilliant starfire.
Our destinies lay before us, gleaming pearl-like in the night.
Nothing seemed to be beyond our grasp.

And now? It’s gone.
All of it is gone.
The hope, the strength, the fire.. gone as if it never
      had existence.
The three have become the one
      and that one has become alone.
The Fates held out the straws of chance
      and we three drew.
The two of you lost and I won,
      as if this can be called winning.

It’s my lot: that I stay and you go.
Do not worry about me here.
I know my duty and the place it has left me.
We are warriors.
It is not our lot to go quietly into the good night,
      but to claw and scream and fight for every meter lost or won.
I am held here by chains of duty.
      By chains of love.
Fighting to protect and keep safe all that you held dear.

I’ll walk the shadowed paths that lays silent and
      death dark before me.
And I swear: they shall not win;
      they shall not escape unscathed.
They will be made to meet their reckoning.
And I will make them pay: for every rock, every planet,
      every sun; with a price beyond any such that they
         can imagine.
I will send an honor guard of their fallen dead to serve you
      in the life after.
I will litter the constellations with the hulks of their ships.

And when all of this has been done, all I’ll be left to
      show for my diligence will be a cold hard knot
      where my heart had been.
A deep, bleak abyss that my soul has become:
      all hollowness and emptiness.
In one swift stroke I have lost
      father and brother,
      advisor and confidant,
      friend and friend again.
It isn’t right!
It isn’t fair!
How dare you go where I can’t follow?

How dare you leave me here:
      all alone in the night?

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